Dream Journal 12/31

This is the last journal of the year 2006. Tomorrow officially begins the Year of Magick!

Last night I had a couple of dreams. The first is hazy of course. I remember being at a pool. There were several swimming areas, but all of them were natural. They were just big holes in the ground filled with water–no concrete or anything. The water was still clear like a regular pool, somehow not muddy. I was swimming around in my clothes. I think some of my friends from high school had been there–JP and maybe WP. When it was time to leave I had a bike to ride home. I got a call from an editor about a story that I was supposed to be turning in. I had to get off my bike to listen to her. I had no idea what story she was talking about. I didn’t know I’d accepted a writing assignment. It was due that night. I told her I’d finish it up and get it to her. She said she could have someone else write it if I couldn’t. I should have agreed to this, but I thought I should finish it, even if I didn’t remember accepting the assignment. Of course by the time I got home I was too tired so I decided to write it in the morning. It turned out I was in high school and my first three classes of the day could be easily skipped–art, and two others–one might have been PE but I’m not sure. I checked my email for the original assignment because I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to write about. It was there with three others. So I’d originally had four articles to write, but the other three had been done by someone else when I failed to turn them in. The last one was a tech article, so they’d held out hope I’d write it because I was the “tech writer.” I was to write about wireless handheld devices.

That dream ended and became one in which I had to help KP find a job. She wanted to go out to this area way way back on this country road where there was supposedly a mallish type place with opportunities for jobs. She was driving and I was navigating. As usual in this type of dream, I found it distasteful to be around her. After her failing to heed my directions we got lost. She blamed me and I blamed her. Finally we arrived and went inside. I asked her where she wanted to go to pick up applications, but she had done no planning, so she didn’t know who was hiring. I was annoyed by this because my writing assignment had migrated to this dream, and I still hadn’t started it. She meandered and found this hair salon that was hiring. The salon was very high end–everyone inside was beautiful and skilled, and the design of the place was so detail oriented and professional. I couldn’t picture them hiring her, or even talking to her. She was looking at this phone book that listed each business in the mall and any job openings they had. Many of the people from the salon came out into the mall and sat in the cozy chair area where I was sulking. They started chatting and smoking–they were on a break. K was off by the phone books all excited that they came out because she could meet them and brown nose the owner. She started slowly creeping up toward them. But before she could get there the owner asked my opinion about something, I can’t exactly remember what–but she just wanted an outsider’s opinion. Before I knew it I was fully involved in their conversation as if I’d been great friends with them for years. K scowled at me. I told the owner to cure her heartburn by quitting sugar and flour for a few weeks and then slowly coming back on to wheat flour but never having sugar again. She asked me if I wanted a job and I accepted. KP stalked off never to return. I was made very happy by this. I realized I would need to call T for a ride home though.

The next dream was a continuation of the hairdressing dream. It was my first day on the job and the owner was showing me around. She showed me the basic stuff and then showed me where to get a drink of water. It was this big contraption with about four or five tanks that were all covered in soggy cardboard, and there was a spigot to get water out of one of them. Then she showed me the storage area which was very much like a warehouse because it had all these big areas separated by steel and wood. Each area held a certain type of timber or steel. And they were huge–went all the way to the ceiling, which was probably 25 feet high or so. She said she had no idea what she had all the stuff for except for to build more storage areas. ALL of the stuff she had was what you’d need to section off another part of the warehouse for storing timber. The place back there was filthy too. It had an uneven dirt and rock floor and smelled horrible. She introduced me to this kid who was in charge of the storage area–he was to show me around. He took me to the back, and apparently his house was attached to the building but it was really dirty and smelly. And only he could get in because the opening to get to his stairs was only small enough for a child to get through and he went in and changed his clothes while I waited outside. Later, the owner asked me if I knew how to shampoo hair and I said yes. I was worried though. What if I got soap in the customer’s eyes?

Dream Journal 12/29

This dream was recorded in my magick diary and will be transcribed soon.

Dream Journal 12/30

I had a few, the first is very hazy. It seemed to take place in an older Victorian house, although some of the rooms looked like classrooms with cinder block walls. All I can remember is a scientist of some kind was using a machine on a woman. It was kind of like an X Ray or something, but used like a camera. And he was doing some kind of experiment on her that wasn’t on the up and up. Durning the experiment a flash of his psyche was delivered with the flash on the instrument and she suddenly knew what he had in store for her. She panicked and broke free of her bonds and ran out of the room. The scientist was startled by her escape and summoned help to chase her. That’s all I remember.

The next one took place after waking in the middle of the night for about twenty minutes and it was unusually vivid. I was in a school, but the classrooms were very large and open, almost like an auditorium except that there were lot’s of plants and furniture, and huge windows. I was a boy in this dream, which hasn’t happened in awhile. The dream featured a teacher very much like one I used to flirt with in high school. And she would often flirt back in hugely inappropriate ways. In my dream I was too shy to flirt with her, but I couldn’t stop staring, so she knew I had a crush on her. She sat at my table at one point to help me with my work and was stroking my hard on through my jeans under the table. Then she just went off and continued teaching class. I became very agitated with a painful case of blue balls. She would look at me now and then and smile. I wanted to figure out how I could get out of class and jerk off, but there seemed no way. Then she invited me to go and help her get some books out of storage. The room was small and not very bright. She didn’t say anything when we got in the room. She just leaned against the wall. So I locked the door and kissed her. I woke up prior to arriving at the good part. Sigh.

Dream Journal 12/28

Once again, visiting family proves tiring. No dreams again.

Dream Journal 12/27

Travelled today, and perhaps due to exhaustion, no dreams to report.

Dream Journal 12/26

Not much to remember again–this time because of not getting much sleep. I remember only one dream. I was going to a college graduation–my own. It wasn’t either of the colleges I went to. I think during the dream it was supposed to be UCF and then partway through became UMD. People were gathered out on the lawn and supposedly sorted by major. The graduates seemed to be mingled in with the audience. After a long time, waiting for the ceremony to start, someone decided to go check and see what the delay was. When she returned she said graduation had been cancelled because there weren’t enough people to graduate to warrant a ceremony. Well, noone really liked that answer, so we all decided to protest by breaking into groups by major and insisting on a ceremony. Small groups were merged together to make them appear larger and we went en masse up to the campus. But we had to separate to find the deans of our separate colleges. I wandered the halls with a few other people trying to find the right person to talk to, but to no avail. During this whole thing, I had been checking a computer every now and then to look at some WoW bulliten board posts. I was extremely sad I couldn’t play.

I should also add that yesterday I had a nap, and during that nap I dreamt that I was playing WoW. I woke up feeling bereft and sad at having quit. Withdrawal I suppose, is part of addiction.

Dream Journal 12/25

Merry Christmas for all you out there who celebrate it.

I slept unusually soundly, so I don’t remember much. I remember bits and pieces of a dream that happened in the basement of the MD house. There was a woman there, perhaps a man as well. I beleive a business was being run, and perhaps some kind of punishment was going on, but I’m sure of whom and what the punishment consisted of. Very vague scraps.

Next up it was time to go to the beach. I was getting on a series of trains that were not well-labled. Some would be labeled as heading toward Ohio instead of west, or Maine instead of NOrth. And some had cities on them, or even street names. I ended up deciding not to use the train when I suddenly had a bike. I asked T if her parents would drive me to the beach if I met them at their house before they left. She said yes. I’m not sure how she was getting there. I rode my bike. There were a lot of country roads and such and at one point I almost got hit by a car. I got to their house just before they arrived and was sitting in the driveway listening to my mp3 player. In fact, a common thread in the dream was that I would have to be waiting somewhere, and I would say to myself or whoever I was talking to: “It’s okay, I have my mp3 player.” They arrived. The dream house was not like their house in real life. It was white, and at the edge of a field. It was kind of bucolic and peaceful. They had a very long driveway. All was pleasant when they arrived–it was set that we would all go together. In the house we kept trying to talk to each other and we were never in the same room. We would all be moving to try to get in the same room and all end up farther away from each other. That was odd.

The rest of the night is all fuzzy. If I remember more, I will come back and edit.

Dream Journal 12/24

The first dream I remember was back in MD again. (I had no idea I dreamed of living in MD so much.) Anyway there was a girl living with us–she was supposed to be thirteen, but then later she was asking my mom for advice about college. So maybe she was seventeen or eighteen. She lived in my house and I didn’t know who she was. I think she was supposed to be my step sister but there was no W so maybe my mother had a different husband in the dream? She had very dark hair, kind of longish, and very white skin. She was both attractive and aloof. I think I wanted to seduce her to get revenge on my step father for something. When she asked my mom about college advice, she wanted to know things like how to get around and where to go for certain things. She was asking about the UCF campus. My mom insisted she didn’t know. I told her I’d gone there and pulled up a map on her laptop and showed her where everything was. She was very appreciative. But the dream ended, so I never got to find out if I could seduce her, which I remember bothering me in my sleep in a semi-lucid way.

I had a snippet of a dream where T and I parked this van we had right by a harbor on a slight incline. The water line was about a foot or two behind the back of the van. When I got out of the van, it started to roll, so I got behind it to keep it from rolling into the water. It was very heavy of course and gradually pushing me back into the water. At the same time the water was slowly rising. I called out to T to come get in the car and drive it away. She was talking to the friends we had come to meet–two women from church. She turned around and saw what was happening and said “OK” but didn’t hurry as if something bad were happening. I kept urging her to hurry up, and she finally came. She was laughing and talking with the friends as she did it. Meanwhile I was up to my waist in water and straining badly under the weight of the van.

In the next dream I was going to a comic convention with W and T. It was a four day thing and we’d never been to it. I paid $32 for a two day pass. When we got inside we found that it was rather small. There were probably a total of 25 or so tables–all white, most with almost no product on them. We were immediately disappointed and I was ticked off that I’d bought a ticket for two days. We were told that there was a “Fake tv show” going on in one of the back rooms so we tried to find it but there were no signs pointing to where it was, so we wandered the corridors a bit until we came to it. We had these fake sword things that were meant to be lightsabers I think. I wanted to duel someone, but noone was in the mood. The TV room had this big screen with a ridiculous cartoon on it and there was a jungle gym type play set, except very large, in the middle of the room and all sorts of people were playing on it. We decided not to participate and went to see if there was anything interesting on the tables. We didn’t find anything interesting until we came to Jeff Smith’s table. Who was named Jeff Smith, but wasn’t actually Jeff Smith. I think he was meant to be John J. Muth. Anyway, he was selling these batman prints and I wanted one, but he wasn’t at the table. The guy at the table next to him said that I should take what I wanted and come back later to pay. But as I was picking out a print he came back. We had the normal pleasantries. “Hi’ “Oh hi there, I love your art.” “Thanks” That kind of thing. When I looked back down all the prints had changed both in size and packaging. I couldn’t find the print I’d wanted. I described what I was looking for and he handed me something else, which wasn’t it at all–it was this creepy bat in christmas lights. And you didn’t realize it was a bat at first. It kind of jumped out at you. I ended up getting it even though it wasn’t the one I wanted.

And I think that dream may have morphed into the next one. W and T were gone and there was a big Nintendo Wii presentation going on. I somehow new the inventor and his little girl. The inventor was a larger than life Charles Foster Kane sort of fellow. And he looked like the guy who played Lex Luthor’s father on Smallville. He was introducing the Wii and it wasn’t his first invention, so he had to tell the audience all about his other great innovations. Everyone was cheering him like crazy. After the event (and I think I had been his nanny or something) he was talking to his daughter–she may have been one, possibly two. He kept flipping her up in the air and catching her. She didn’t like it very much. I told him that if he ever dropped her, I would take her away from him and he’d never see her again. On the next toss he dropped her. She was unconscious. I picked her up and left him there. He didn’t try and stop me. I took her and just kept going. Eventually I ended up on a dock and I was deciding how to get away and where to go with her. There was a grandmother, apparently, with money. She woke up and wanted to know where her father was. I told her where he was and said we were going on a trip. She said she wanted her daddy. I understood that she would want to go back to him, but I couldn’t let her because he was reckless, didn’t love her, and treated her like a toy. I just knew she’d keep getting hurt over and over. Then a man came up. I think he had a gun. I assumed he was coming to get her back. But instead, he explained that her father wanted me to have her. And then a woman came up and said that he had watched while I took her and done nothing to stop me. He just let me go. Then the little girl was sad because her father didn’t fight for her. I tried to console her. Then she said she was glad I’d taken her away from such a callous man. She had an excellent vocab for a one year old.

Dream Journal 12/23

The first dream I can remember involves my old house in MD yet again. My grandmother was there for a visit but looked very different–very shriveled with thin hair and an unhealthy pallor. She looked gollumish. I don’t remember much about the contents of this particular dream. I know my cousin on my father’s side showed up, which is odd. We got up to some sexual experamentation like we used to do when we were kids. I think we were going to try anal sex, which is not something we ever did as kids, but is sort of remenicent of the times he would invite me to bite his butt cheek. Nothing really came of the experamentation, but for some reason my mom and I were planning a long return trip somehow, as if where we were wasn’t home, but somewhere else. My step-father and step-siblings were not present. I think K might have made an appearance, but if she did, she was much younger than present, whereas I was my current age.

Not sure of the order of these dreams–there may have been some overlap. Next there was a large thanksgiving banquet in an unknown location. The house was very large–probably a mansion, well furnished–but with older stuff, maybe from the twenties. I believe this was meant to be my grandmother’s house, although I never saw her. There was a relation there, a cousin, but it was no one I recognize. He was largely considered crude, dumb, and a failure all around. He bullied the other kids there. I was current age. P was there along with G and R. His older sister K might have been knocking around as well. The event was a huge thanksgiving party. The dining room was set up like a restaurant with several small tables of four or five seats each. They all had individual place settings etc. The turkey was unnaturally large and there were these strange little shot-glass like containers with coffee syrups in them. Although I thought they were meant to hold after dinner liqueurs and ended up spilling the syrup all over my head. I think during the serving of the food, the dream morphed into a coffee shop dream where I was working with J, j, N, and S. J was conducting and interview. I was trying to stock up all the lids to the coffee cups, but kept forgetting the essential ones. J kept getting up from her interview to point out the flaws in what I was doing. I ended up telling her that I should come in one day and watch her run her shift and point out all of her flaw. Oddly, she said it was a good idea. Then I went on to explain my mistakes and appologize for horsing around with j too much. Then it popped back to the thanksgiving party. Everyone was leaving. My boorish cousin was sitting at one of the tables wrapping a present. I asked him what it was and who it was for. He said it was a collection of folk tales and art for my grandmother. I thought it was a sweet gesture and commented that he must not be as bad as everyone said. He didn’t say anything back. I went outside with P. All of the guests were going out to their cars, which were parked far away on a hill. There was a gravelly driveway leading down a hill. Up by the house was a flooded hilly area, where the low parts had about a foot of water, but all the tops of the small hills were revealed. One could easily jump from hill to hill without getting wet. There was a dog pissing on a scattering of tomatoes that were on the ground, and R said, “look, he’s peeing on the step-siblings.” I laughed and said something like, “Pee on the step-siblings!!” I seemed to think it was a good idea. We were at the top of one of the hills. P was there too. We had sticks. We wanted to go say goodbye to the guests, but as we were leaving the hill, I fell into water that came up to my neck. I knew I could get out, but I was angry at being wet. P helped me out of the water and said, “It’s okay, it’s not that deep.” As we were making our way to the stream of guests leaving, it seemed that the water had risen substantially, and I was constantly falling in it. There were vines and leaves and sticks in the water, and the bottom was uneven. P was swimming I think. He kept saying things like, “Just swim,” or “It’s not over your head.” It was encouraging, but also a dismissal at my displeasure at getting my clothes wet and of my fear of rising water. I started to get irritated with the whole situation. We finally made it to a dry area and there was a group of five turtles just hanging out. I wanted to look at them. P kept picking them up and the first one was white and maybe eight inches long. It bit P’s nipple, and he dropped it. Each turtle that he picked up ended up biting him. I asked him to just leave them alone. He seemed to not mind the bites, but when they bit him he would drop or throw them. Sometimes they would land on their backs and I would need to flip them back over.

I had another dream involving a pirate ship, but the details are quite hazy. I know there was someone who wasn’t from the ship and we were trying to trick her in some way to steal something that we needed or wanted for the ship. I was to somehow draw her out of her room, and then my fellow pirates could go steal whatever it was. It was a food item of some kind–ketchup or maybe chocolate sauce. It was definitly a liquidy type thing. I don’t remember if we actually carried our plan out or not. I do know that I was nervous and didn’t think it would work. I think it involved spilling something on her, and she would be compelled to leave her little room. That’s really all I can remember.

Dream Journal 12/22

The first one i don’t remember well. I was living where I do now, but I had to take the train to work all the time. KC was living here too, but not her sisiter. I kept seeing her at the train station with co workers. I think I would always miss my train too. Or get on the wrong one. I think there may have been a part where SF was visiting, because me and T wanted to drive him around Boston to look at Christmas lights.

Then it shifted and was back in MD at my old house, living in that same room again. I remember there being semen everywhere–on the walls etc. And then at one point there were spider’s webs in the corner outside my room–very thick, almost opaque. And they were filled with large egg sacs. I went to tell W about them and I saw other spider’s webs all around the house, along the places where the walls meet the ceiling, and then on the steps the webs hung down. W came and removed the ones outside my room with a wad of paper towels. He was fairly nice about it and concerned about the spiders. I remember my mom not caring particularly much.

In the next one, me and T were living with M and my father, who was still alive. But we were still in high school. All of my brothers were there too. We kept not getting up for school and staying home. Or we’d go, but somehow not do any work. At one point M was saying that she didn’t think high school was all that important and that was why she didn’t make us wake up. I was looking for breakfast and nearly everything was moldy. Finally found some fruit loops that were okay to eat. T disappeared. I couldn’t call her because her phone was at the house. I started to play WoW but then remembered that we were trying to quit and turned off the computer in a panic. Then I went to look for T.

I ended up on a college campus. It was a christian school. T was there buying something. It was a big bag that I wanted to look in, but then I didn’t in case she’d bought something private that she didn’t want me to see yet. There were long lines of people trying to get into something–an event of some kind. I saw this girl with a copy of one of The Invisibles trades. So I thought that there might be a signing. She told me Maggie Smith, one of the Invisibles artists was signing. (Of course, in the dream, it seemed completely reasonable that Maggie Smith had drawn part of the Invisibles. Ha!) Then T came up, but she’d morphed physically into someone else. The girl with the book asked T what kind of lipstick she was wearing and T took it out of her pocket. The girl pursed her lips as if to indicate that T should put some lipstick on her. T proceeded to hold her face and put it on her. It was very sexual and I was both aroused and jealous. When T was done, she and the girl looked exactly alike. As the line moved I saw that it was two lines. The second line went to a rack of books. They were all Christian books. I could tell there was a christian author behind this large rack. He was talking to the audience about how to be a good writer. I began hitting his book rack and the books would fall off the other side onto his table. He didn’t seem to notice so I started heaving them at him. We got into an argument–I asked him if someone that had been divorced could write books. He said no. Then I asked if someone who’d been molested could write books. He said no. They I pushed him on the ground and put a foot on his chest. I told him I wasn’t divorced, but married to a woman. And that I had been molested. He said he didn’t think I could write a godly book. I asked him the virtue of a godly book. Then something happened where the focus shifted to this little kid in the crowd. I think that she might have been crying, but I realized immediately that someone had been molesting her. I asked her if she was okay and if she could tell me what happened. She clammed up so I excused myself from the crowd and took her to the bathroom so we could be alone to talk. The christian guy was still shouting at me as I left. She started to tell me what happened when we got there, but then these girls from the college kept coming in. They would stand in front of these long mirrors pulling up their skirts. They were all covered with bruises up and down their legs and on their stomachs. I wondered if the same person had hurt them as the little girl. But then it all went weird–they freaked out physically, like turned into something, not quite zombies, but scary. I had to runaway with the kid. Then it kind of trails off into chaos.